for jorja

the ease with which we move won't last

http://www.oliverjeffers.com/
jeffers my love!

Philip Salom

pulse.

planning a new artwork. a fierce pyramid with black mortar covered waves, embroidered walls; a small, safe place. savage within boundary.

quick!

scans of a little book of animals emma brought me back from japan:
super cute!

-ish ocean SELF

denizen den'i-zn, n. an inhabitant (human or animal): a wild plant, probably foreign, that keeps its footing: a naturalised foreign word.

 james jean

delude di-lud', v.t. to play with (someone) so as to frustrate him or his hopes (obs.): to elude (obs.): to deceive, cause to accept what is false as true.

-ed or -t

my writing is disjointed but so was the night, so was i, so were we.

wire snaps, scalpel in hand. pulling blue skin from your shoulder with minimal precision. the false light sears the asphalt under our feet, unflinching. a palm of knots falls behind breath. the end cowers, tail between legs. but still i'm displaced, unsettled.
walking unnoticed blocks, measure us - incorrect.
we glide, parallel across fluorescent-lit floors. behind the sheets of metal and compressed wires, a long-forgotten blue sheet will rot. we would rather combust than stagnate.
i burned, i burnt - plates of glass, concrete, pushing down into infinity. i, a deer in headlights.
cancelled plans. wanting contact, needing distance - my laughter is harsh because i'm trying not to touch you.
slipping between a sideboard and curled fencing, i'm uncharacteristically calm. but enclosed it's stifled, chilled, bereft and yet energy multiplies with fierce intensity.
cameras in dark corners inhibit the space shifting and breathing - safe keeping.
my first blue-suited questionnaire. so badass - smokin' and saunterin'.
confinement and riches.
i missed this, though the close was out of place; your sudden. intense. introspection?
sure - my decision, but preventing, protecting - lifeless.

trying to feel safe - i made myself a cubby. not finished, but it's on its way. help me fill this space.

exponential

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
Redhead (Bathing) 1889

re struct

i'm sick of living like i know this place. let's play, let's live like our travel-selves. but here. why restrict? we restrict. unnecessary. trying so hard not to get hurt. reeeestrict.

i want to feel the pleasure of leaving because i don't have to stay.
to be still, i want you to teach and i'll do my best to itch the places you cannot reach.
teeth in pocket, a reminder of failure; each differ in method of removal. cara, i like that idea. some with gum and blood still attached, but others impeccably clean. in their place a well sewn seam. this last one, not so. the gap in my smile dances between the numb and infection. it's you. we'll see.

i walk to the station and almost step on a half eaten mouse.

'it is the curse of age, that all things are reflections of other things'
-neil gaiman, the truth is a cave in the black mountains